


Hold on

by Alyrockyforever



Series: Marvel Song Fics [1]
Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017)
Genre: Gen, Sad May, Sad Peter, Sad Tony, Self-Harm, Songfic, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide, Whump, i don’t know how to tag
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-18
Updated: 2018-11-18
Packaged: 2019-08-25 06:47:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,155
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16656211
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alyrockyforever/pseuds/Alyrockyforever
Summary: Hold on I still want youCome back I still need you





	Hold on

 

_Loving and fighting_

_Accusing, uniting_

 

Peter didn’t remember the last time he’d been happy. May and him always argued about Spider-man. He never got any sleep. May didn’t want him to be Spider-Man anymore. She didn’t understand that it was the only thing that numbed the pain.

 

_I can’t imagine a world with you gone_

 

All the time he imagined what it would be like to just finally end the pain. Mr. Stark never talked to him anymore. Ned hadn’t even looked in his direction at school in months. Flash never stopped badgering him.

 

_The joy and the chaos,the demons we’re made of_

_I’d be so lost if you left me alone_

 

He’d just locked the bathroom door after a fight with May. He heard her storm out of the apartment. He looked down at his scar littered arms and thought, _what if I just end it now?_ Would it really be so bad? Then May would finally be happy. Mr. Stark and Ned would never have to worry about him again.

 

_You locked yourself in the bathroom_

_Lying in the floor when I break through_

 

He sniffled and pulled himself up. He opened the cabinet underneath the sink, ignoring the reflection of his puffy eyes in the mirror. He shakily pulled out a blade and sunk to the floor. He took a deep breath and dug it into his skin. His eyes were blurry with tears.

 

_I pull you in to feel your heartbeat_

_can you hear me screaming “please don’t leave me”_

 

He could hear his heartbeat slowing as he shakily dug the blade into the other arm. He couldn’t feel anything except for the deep ache in his arms. He didn’t have the strength to hold his arms up anymore. They dropped to his sides and he watched as they bled.

 

_Hold on I still want you_

_come back I still need you_

 

He swore he could see his parents and uncle Ben in front of him. He tried to weakly reach for them. He saw them hold their hands out but he couldn’t reach. “Please.” He whispered. He’s not sure what he’s asking.

 

_Let me take your hand, I’ll make it right_

_I swear to love you all my life_

 

He wished he’d at least said goodbye. Maybe he should’ve done it in the tub. Then it would’ve been easier to clean up. At least he was almost gone. He could feel it. His blood was pooling around him. He blinked, trying to clear his blurry vision but it was no use.

 

_Hold on I still need you_

 

He couldn’t make a noise anymore. Breathing was getting harder. Just a little longer. His heartbeat was so slow. Thump... thump... thump...

 

_A long endless highway_

_You’re silent beside me_

_Drivin’ a nightmare I can’t escape from_

 

Why wasn’t he dead yet? It was taking to long. He just wanted it to end already. Mr. Stark would come take the suit back once he was dead. Why didn’t he bring it to the tower first? God he was so stupid! Making Mr. Stark come get it...

 

_Helplessly praying, the light isn’t fading_

_Hiding in the shock in the chill in my bones_

 

Finally he could feel his eyes drooping. Darkness was clouding his vision. Finally he could just go. “Night.” He whispered, closing his eyes. Thump... thump... thump... Silence.

 

May came home later, having thought out their argument. She brought takeout, wanting to apologize to Peter. She closed the door, setting the food on the table. “Peter? Are you awake?” She called. No answer.

she frowned. “Peter? I’m sorry about what I said.” She called. No answer. She peeked into his room, he wasn’t there. She as the bathroom light was on. She knocked.

he didn’t answer. “Pete?” She called softly. He still didn’t answer. She tried the knob. It was locked. She was getting worried. She tried it again. “Peter? Peter!” She yelled. No answer. She finally just pushed the door in. 

She screamed in horror at the sight. Peter, her Peter, was lying slumped against the wall with blood pooling under him. She couldn’t do anything but stare as tears trailed down her face.

she finally reached her hand into her bag and pulled out her phone. She dialed 911 but didn’t remember the conversation. She couldn’t force herself to walk into the room. His lips were blue. The EMT’s showed up.

 

_they took you away on a table_

_i pace back and forth as you lay still_

 

She finally broke. She ran to his side, holding his hand, touching his bloody wrist to feel his pulse. She didn’t feel it. “No no no no! Peter!” She screamed. “Ma’am! Ma’am you need to step back!” One of the EMT’s said.

 

_I pull you in to feel your heartbeat_

_can you hear me screaming “please don’t leave me”_

 

She followed them to the hospital and sat by his side at the morgue. She couldn’t let go of his cold hand. She suddenly thought of Tony. She shakily pulled out her phone, sobbing at the thought of the last time she pulled it out. To call 911. “May? What is it?” Was his reply.

“It’s Peter. Get to the hospital now.” She croaked and hung up. He was there a few minutes later. He couldn’t believe the sight in front of him. He cried. He held Peter’s other hand, trying to imagine the cold limb gripping his own back.

 

_Hold on I still want you_

_come back I still need you_

 

Neither of them let go of his hands. Even hours later. No words were spoken. They couldn’t say anything. The only thing going through their minds was one thought. Could they have stopped it?

 

_Let me take your hand, I’ll make it right_

_I swear to love you all my life_

_Hold on I still need you_

 

The doctors tried to convince them they needed to leave the room and sort out the details for the funeral but they wouldn’t acknowledge them.

 

_I don’t wanna let go_

_i know I’m not that strong_

_i just wanna hear you saying “baby let’s go home”_

 

 

It wasn’t until the next day that the news got out. When May and Tony were seen leaving the hospital with tears on their faces. It was all over the internet and soon everybody knew. Everyone knew that the teenage intern of Tony Stark committed suicide.

Ned didn’t go to school for weeks. Flash never bothered him again. 

 

_Let’s go home_

_Yeah I just wanna take you home_

 

Tony couldn’t stop thinking about him. It hurt so bad. So he drank. And he drank. And he drank. He drank himself to death.

May had to start taking pills for depression. She overdosed one night. 

They both died with Peter’s smile in the back of their minds.

 

_Hold on I still want you_

_come back I still need you_


End file.
